Rules
  1. Any Man who brings a camera out at night may be legally killed and eaten by the rest of the squad.
  2. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
  3. It is ok for a man to cry under the following circumstances:
    a. When the last ball is lost
    b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse
    c. After wrecking your driver
    d. If you are in the same bunker for more then one hour
    e. After eating the hottest curry in the Balti House
  4. Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a fellow Rough Squad Member out of jail within 12 hours.
  5. Acceptable excuses for not playing poker at 4am
    a. Your legs have been severed in a freak threshing accident
    b. You are sober in which case your RS membership is revoked
    c. You are practicing your drive in the Street
  6. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her.
  7. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for a guy who's running late is 5 minutes. Maximum waiting time: 6 minutes. For a girl, you have to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 scale.
  8. Bitching about the cheep beer is forbidden. Gripe at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
  9. On road trips, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
  10. You are not required to be nice to dick-heads--- low level sportsmen or men with wigs
  11. Unless you have signed a lucrative endorsement contract, do not appear in public wearing more than one swoosh.
  12. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
  13. You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her Guinness.
  14. It is permissible to quaff a fruity chick drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach....and it's delivered by a topless supermodel...and it's free
  15. Only in situations of Moral and/or Ass peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts
  16. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked
  17. Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
  18. If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem---you didn't see nothin'.
  19. Women who claim they "love to watch golf" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much beer as the other golfers.
  20. You must not offer heartfelt and public condolences when you win.
  21. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
  22. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both. That's just plain mean
  23. If you complement a guy on his six-iron, you'd better be talking about golf clubs
  24. Phrases that may not be uttered to another member while taking a golf shot:
    a. Yeah, Baby, Push it!
    b. C'mon, give it one more! Harder!
    c. Nice Ass, are you a Sagitarius?
  25. Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
  26. Never allow a conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone; Hang up if necessary.
  27. Showing up for breakfast on time is a big nono.